Article Nine

by John Forster


Announcer:World War II over
Announcer:Japan is in the doghouse
Announcer:Occupational forces calling the shots

Announcer: General McArthur, he say...

General McArthur: Divine Emporer is lousy way to run a country
General McArthur: Japan need modern constitution
General McArthur: And we going to write it for you
Japanese person: Uh oh
General McArthur: Going to be just like US constitution
Japanese person: Much Better
General McArthur: With one difference... Article Nine
Japanese person: Article nine?
General McArthur: Article Nine say....
General McArthur: Japan not allowed to have army
Japanese person: Oh no
General McArthur: Japan not allowed to have navy
Japanese person: Oh, very bad news
General McArthur: Japan not allowed to build expensive weapons systems they never plan to use
Japanese person: Not fair
General McArthur: Japan have to rely on US for defense
Japanese person: You're kidding
General McArthur: Japan have to let US taxpayers buy them expensive weapons systems they never plan to use
Japanese person: Uh, what we gonna spend our money on?
General McArthur: Japan have to spend it's money on.... research and developement
General McArthur: And state of the art technology
General McArthur: Supercomputer
General McArthur: Industrial robotics
General McArthur: Stuff like that
Japanese person: That's it? That's Article Nine?
General McArthur: That's Article Nine
General McArthur: And you'd better abide by it.
Japanese person: Huh! We sure going to try!

Announcer: Forty five years later.....

Used to be samurai
Now we meek and quiet
No more seek to conquer world
Easier to buy it

Lost the war, big disgrace
Still, we don't bemourn it
Pain in neck to rule the world
Much more fun to own it

Much more fun to rake in dollar
Selling color TV set
Much more fun to take a G Note, buy a T Note
Float your debt

Take your money, crisp and new
Lend your money back to you

What make the floating kingdom float?
Article Nine
Why write the yanks a thank you note
Article Nine

Who's constitution got that built in bottom line?
Ours does, thanks to Article Nine

Now, all of a sudden, US get mad at Japan
Accuse us of unfair trade
Selling car too cheap, VCR too chear, chip too cheap
Very sorry, just living up to Article Nine

But US got no sense of irony
Hit us with trade sanctions
Ooh, great dishonor

Asked my son what to do
He's at Harvard B school
Problem simple, could be solved
By even child in pre-school

"What we care if," you ask,
"Slap on import quotas?"
Way to win against Detroit
Not sell more Toyotas
Buy up General Motors

What cause the rising sun to rise?
Article Nine
What helped Japan economize?
Article Nine

America, America
What spending can be thine?
Just offer yourselves what you gave us
Article Nine
Budget solution obvious
Article Nine

You got a nice constitution
But one flaw in it's design
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight..
Uh oh, got no Article Nine

What made the warlord give up war?
Article Nine
How can we ever thank you for
Article Nine

Thanks to General McArthur
Thanks to Harry Truman-son
Thanks to cabinet
Thanks to Congress
Special Thanks to Pentagon

Thanks for helping rising sun to rise and shine
And several trillion dollars worth of thanks for
Arrticle Nine

Article Nine is, appropriately, the nineth (9th) song on the "Entering Marion" album. It is an original song by John Forster.

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