The Juice A La Seuss

by John Forster


It was cold, it was rainy
A cold rainy day
Though we lawyers love golf
It was too wet to play

The I looked and I saw him
Step in on the mat
He was looking for council
We had a brief chat

Did you do this awful crime?
Did you do it anytime?
Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?

I did not do this awful crime
I did not do it anytime
I did not kill my former wife
I did not do it with a knife

Then F. Lee and I
Did not know what to say
We were honest, we said
"You got problems O.J."

These problems, we'll call them
Thing one and thing two
Thing one is the blood at the scene
It's from you

Thing two is the Bronco chase
Why did you run?
We'll have to get rid of
Thing two and thing one

I did not clonk her on the head
I did not know that she was dead
When I found out, I gave a sob
Just ask my other lawyer, Bob

I did not slash, I did not hit
OK, I hit a little bit
But I did not kill my precious wife
I did not do it with a knife

But O.J., the cheauffer
He rang and he rang
Then Kato heard thumps
He heard bumps and a bang

The Fermin, Van Atter
And Lang found a glove
Things three, four, and five
We'll need getting rid of

I did not drop the bloody glove
I did not kill my turtle dove
Too small, too small, it does not fit
It does not fit, you must acquit

And sure enough, the jury bit
It does not fit, we must acquit
We don't much care who did this crime
We've served a year, we've done our time

The Juice A La Seuss is the nineth (9th) song on the "Helium" album. It is an original song by John Forster.

E-mail regarding this John Forster page (a person I am NOT) should be sent to either of the following:

To contact staff, proceed to the contact page.