The PAC Man

by John Forster


Lyrics that are BOLDED are performed by background female vocals.
Lyrics that are UNDERLINED are performed by the rapper.
Lyrics that are ITALICIZED are performed by the rapper & Bob Dole.
Hey Bobby Bobby Dole, a Bobby Dole Bobby
Hey Bobby Bobby Bobby, a Bobby Dole
Hey Bobby Bobby Dole, a Bobby Dole Bobby
Hey Bobby Bobby Bobby, a Bobby Dole

My name is Bob Dole
The former leader of the legislature
The only human without a human nature
My enemies call me vicious, vindictive and mean
But I'm so good at fund raising it's almost obscene
Yo, how do you fill up the kitty
It's called a Political Action Committees

They call me the PAC Man, PAC Man
PAC Man, PAC Man
PAC Man, PAC Man
They give and I take, come on, we're all adults
When they give and they give and they give
They want results
And nobody gets results like the PAC Man, PAC Man
I'm a powerful gent
Though no one is quite sure who it is I represent

Yo, Lemme me ask you something
Why did five tobacco companies give you sixty thousand bucks
When everyone knows there's no tobacco grown in Kansas

Well, these companies grow tobacco
To me that makes 'em farmers, and I support the farmer
That's my answer
It's not the farmer, it's the crops that cause the cancer
And emphysema, yes, we see
And over half of their donation, was to the Dole Foundation
Which gives to various charities including Lung Disease
So gosh, if they cause it and they cure it it's a wash

And think of tobacco's benefits
Jobs in the fields for the people who pick
Jobs in the hospitals, caring for the sick
Jobs in the medical research laboratories
The mortuaries, cemeteries, the crematories
Man, I'm gonna be sick

Exports to the Third World, especially to the young
Are reducing our trade deficit lung by lung by lung

So, when five tobacco PACs offer you sixty thou
To get their hands on Government-grown tobacco for free
What do you do

I take the money and I say "We'll see"

Now, there's been no agreement
Nothing was signed
A quid pro quo was never defined
So when I voted their way you couldn't say that there had been a trade
Or that my efforts on their behalf were 'cause of the bribes they paid
Excuse me
I mean, the donation they made
Look, whatever you wanna call it
When they reach down in their wallet
It's perfectly legal and it's how the game is played

And nobody plays it better than the PAC Man, PAC Man
PAC Man, PAC Man
PAC Man, PAC Man

They give and they give and they give and I take, big deal
You wanna reform, they wanna reform, get real
The PACs are one of the perks, one of the quirks
PACs are how the system works
They can't take that away from me
No, they can't take that away from you

Now the sugar industry has got the Snack PAC
The auto makers have the Cadillac PAC
The Beer Institute has got the Six PAC
The Sierra Club has got the Back PAC
AT&T has got the Phone PAC

Here's my favorite
I've got my own PAC, Campaign America
It's got a bit of a ring
It's also got a million bucks to help me do my thing
See, I spread it to Senators who's votes I wanna buy
Excuse me
I mean, I give to valued colleagues cause I'm such a nice guy
Oh. Cool
Call me angry or obstructive but nobody can say
That Bob Dole doesn't pay

Cause I'm the PAC Man, PAC Man
PAC Man, PAC Man
PAC Man, PAC Man

I give and I give and I give and they take, they're mine
They stick their integrity where the sun don't shine
It's not what the Founding Fathers had in mind
But hey, it's a system of checks and balances
You write a check, I check your balance
And then I use my talents to piggyback whatever it is you say
Onto whatever the hell it is we're voting on today

Hey, Bobby Bobby Dole, Bobby Dole

So, now that we've brought the facts about the PACs to light
God Bless America

The PAC Man is the second (2nd) song on the "The Official Bootleg Album" album. It is an original song by John Forster.

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