Silicon Slim

by John Forster


Well, you've heard of Jesse James and you've heard of Robin Hood
Here's the ballad of a bad man who was every bit as good
This guy held up Chase Manhatten unarmed and all alone
With just a trusty home computer that was hooked up to his phone

In the dead of night hed'd access each depositor's account
And from each of them he'd syphon off the teeniest amount
And since noone ever noticed that there'd even been a crime
He stole forty million dollars: a penny at a time

Silicon Slim, Silicon Slim
He'd pull a job and everyone would chip in
King of the program skim
God never made a greater data processor than Silicon Slim

Little Jen was only eight, but she had her own account
And the seven dollars in it was to her a huge amount
So the day that penny vanished, one inhappy little tot screamed,
"Hey! What happened to my penny?"
And the teller tried to tell her but could not

So the teller called an officer who quickly took control
He gave the kid a toaster so she wouldn't tell a sole
Then he rounded up a posse of the boys from MIT
They tracked him through the circuits and they trapped him
Like a possum up a tree

Silicon Slim, Silicon Slim
He picked the wrong kid's piggy bank roll to trim
As for his program skim
They fingerprinterd him, took his mug, and pulled the plug on Silicon Slim

Well, the judge said, "Give him life." and threw him in the pen
Sayin, "Slim, you'll never monkey with a microchip again."
But the prison kept its records on an IBM machine
Slim went in at nine a.m. and way out by three fifteen

Is the whole of your withholding gettin' to the government?
Have you figured out your fica to the hundredth of a cent?
Though the average joe don't even know how much his fica was
Out there somewhere, there's a software packin' buckaroo who does

Silicon Slim, Silicon Slim
His name will live after his terminal's gone dim
A truly democratic thief, he found a way to pool the pain and grief
And though he weren't no cherrier bim (?)
Let's hear it for that rootin' tootin' home computin' Silicon Slim

"Honey, I can't quite get my checkbook to balance this month."
"Oh well, I guess it's... close enough..."

Silicon Slim is the fourth (4th) song on the "Entering Marion" album. It is an original song by John Forster.

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