The Zipper Song

by John Forster

Lyrics that are BOLDED were spoken by "Bill Clinton"
Lyrics that are UNDERLINED were spoken by the narrator
Lyrics that are ITALICIZED were spoken by "Kenneth Starr"


They wired a housefly with a mike that's really small
That fly sat for months on the Oval Office wall
Making tape after tape of whatever things occurred
And here's a transcript of what the Special Prosecutor heard

(zip) A zipper comes down
(zip) A zipper goes up
Then blah blah blah blah blabber blabber

(zip) The zipper comes down
(zip) The zipper goes up
Then just more jabber jabber jabber

(zip) Down (zip) Up
A test ban comes for signature

(zip) Down (zip) Up
A memo on boring stuff like GATT

(zip) Down (zip) Up
"Janet Reno to see you, sir"
(zip) Ahh! (zip) Sorry 'bout that
I thought she was an intern

Zippedee hoo hah
The world is at peace
The budget is balanced
And this is my niece

(Hi, pleased to meet you)
President Harding
Was big on burlesque
So zippedee zippedee hoo hah
Under my desk

(zip) A zipper comes down
(zip) A zipper goes up
Down (zip) up (zip)
Without a second thought
(zip) The zipper comes down
(zip) The zipper goes up
Then one day (zip) the zipper gets caught
Yow, man, that smarts

We gotta like solve this zipper thing
I'm thinkin' it's real essential
The problem is, buttons take too long
And velcro is unpresidential

We got a full time White House physician
Why not a White House zipper technician
Always on call for quick repairs
Special Assistant for Internal Affairs
Whaddaya say

(zip) (zip)
He meets the press
(zip) (zip)
He buys a dress
(zip) (zip)
A photo op
(zip) Pit stop (flush) (zip)
Hey, I could name several Presidents
Who had bimbos in residence
A little relief at crisis time
Traditionally was not a crime
But now the whole world they up and blanch
Whenever I wave my executive branch

Hey, hey, wanna see something funny? Watch this
Zipper on a yo-yo
(special zip)
Bungee zipper (special zip)
Zipper on steroids (special zip)
I love this job
Zippedee hoo hah
This is the life
Cooperative Congress
Cooperative wife
It's the economy, stupid
It's sliding like grease
So zippedee zippedee hoo hah
Zippedee zippedee hoo hah
Zippedee zippedee hey
Say hello to my niece
They can't touch me

The Zipper Song is the twelfth (12th) song on the "The Official Bootleg Album" album. It is an original song by John Forster.

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