"Mail Mouse Doc" by Judy Harmon

Had some strange pains while I was surfin' the net
Needed help as fast as my PC could get
Clicked a site and got a physical exam
Only healin' man that gets word out by Spam
He's doc, AMA is in shock
Prescriptions e-mailed around the clock
I'm talkin' 'bout my mail mouse doc

Don't need no exam rooms or no instruments
Doesn't pay malpractice, nurses or high rents
Test results in minutes, diagnosis fast
Told me that my chest pains were a gas, gas, gas
He's doc, used to practice on jocks
Only keeps the best street drugs in stock
I'm talkin' 'bout my mail mouse doc

Doesn't fool with paperwork to MediCare
Electronic house calls in his underwear
If you got no money, you're not out of luck
Operation's only cost $50 bucks
He's doc, his advice really rocks
Got a 3-day beard and smelly socks
I'm talkin' 'bout my mail mouse doc

Patients range from HMOs to Capitol Hill
Did creative padding on his Enron bill
FBI and IRS and FDA
Would love to throw a hundred years his way
He's doc, all his stuff is in hock
His medical ethics are a crock
I'm talkin' 'bout my mail mouse doc

Makin' plans to reach the masses who need help
Figured out a way he can expand himself
Lookin' for some out of work non-licensed guys
Gonna give us all an e-mail franchise
He's doc, runs a body parts shop
On a mission and he can't be stopped
I'm talkin' 'bout my mail mouse doc

Talkin' 'bout my mail mouse doc

Talkin' 'bout my mail mouse doc



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