"Moldy Jeans" by Steven Humphreys

Somebody once sold me a pair of jeans were moldy
They weren't the sharpest pants in my drawer
It was almost Y2K, I was lookin' kinda gay
When I ripped my pant in the lunchroom

Well, the crowd starts laughin and they dont stop laughin
My pants went split so I hit the ground runnin'
Did it make sense not to wear cheap jeans?
My pants went split and my face went green

Why did they rip?
Why did they split?
Why didnt anybody tell me they didnt fit?
I shoulda knew when they went WHOO
Especially wen they went YOOH

Hey now
They were cheap jeans
And I'm mad at myself

Hey now
They are worthless
And they ripped when I fell

These pants are all but gold
Shoulda gotta clue from the mold

They were cheap jeans
I knew I shouldnt get 'em
Shoulda went and got some Old Navy Denim
But the cashier man said to buy

When I wore them I would be a fly guy
They're O.K., he reassured me
There's supposed to be a hole in the knee
A little bit higher and they'ed be shorts
Thats the way I likem all ripped and all torn

Hey now
They were cheap jeans
And I'm mad at myself

Hey now
They are worthless
And they ripped when I fell

These pants are all but gold
Shoulda gotta clue from the mold

The pockets were too small
They could hold nothing at all
And that was nothing
Compared to how they felt

Then I said,"They're hard as lead
They smell like roadkill by my bed"
And my walls were covered by all the mold

Well, the crowd starts laughin'
And they don't stop laughin'
My pants went split
And I hit the gound runnin'

Did it make sense not to wear cheap jeans?
My pants went split and my face went green
Why did they rip, why did they split?
Why didnt anybody tell me they didnt fit?

I shoulda knew when they went WHOO
especially when they went YOOH

Hey now
They were cheap jeans
And I'm mad at myself

Hey now
They are worthless
And they ripped when I fell

These pants are all but gold
Shoulda gotta clue from the mold



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