Lyrics:
I starred in every high school play (heh heh)
Blew every drama teacher away (heh heh)
Graduated first in my class (heh heh) at Juilliard (heh heh)
Took every acting workshop I could (heh heh)
And I dreamed of Hollywood (heh heh)
While I read my Uta Hagen (heh heh) and studied the Bard
Hit the boards and paid my dues
And got phenomenal rave reviews
I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt
I was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on the phone
Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone
But the years have come and gone
And I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out
I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name (ahh ahh)
And I'm doin' thirty four shows every day (do do do do, do do do do)
And every time it's the same (whoa oh)
Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears (do do do do, do do do do)
Just like they've done for the last fifty years (do do do do, do do do do)
Now I'm laughin' at my own jokes but I'm cryin' inside (la-la la-la, la-la la-la, la-la la-la, la-la)
'Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride (doh, doh-doh doh-doh, heh heh) (doh, doh-doh doh-doh, heh heh)
Oh, the critics, they used to say (doh, doh-doh doh-doh, heh heh)
I was the new Olivier (doh, doh-doh doh-doh, heh heh)
Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance (doh, doh-doh doh-doh, heh heh) or maybe Cannes (doh, doh-doh doh-doh, heh heh)
Aw, but don't bother tryin' to IMDb me
The only place you might possibly see me
Is ridin' my little boat around Adventureland
It ain't exactly what I planned
But I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name (ahh ahh ahh)
And I'm doin' thirty four shows every day (do do do do, do do do do)
And every time it's the same (whoa oh)
I would've killed if I'd been in Speed The Plow (do do do do, do do do do)
But what's the difference, that's all behind me now (do do do do, do do do do)
'Cause I'm payin' the rent and I'm swallowin' my pride (la-la la-la, la-la la-la, la-la la-la, la-la)
And I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride
I should be there on Broadway
Knockin' 'em dead in 12 Angry Men
But instead I'm here tellin' these lame jokes
Again and again and again and again and again and again and again
Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet! (na-na-na na na, na-na na-na na na, na-na na na-na-na)
That's an African bull elephant... (na-na-na na na-na-na, na na-na-na)
And there it is, the backside of water! (na-na-na na na-na-na)
What have I done with my life?!
I shoulda listened when my grandfather said (do do do do, do do do do)
"Why don't you major in business instead?" (do do do do, do do do do)
Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died (la-la la-la, la-la la-la, la-la la-la, la-la)
And I'll probably work forever as a
Tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name (ah ah ah) (bop, do-wah)
And I'm doin' thirty four shows every day (ooh) (do do do do, do do do do)
And every time it's the same (whoa oh)
Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears (do do do do, do do do do)
Somebody shoot me 'cause I'm bored to tears (do do do do, do do do do)
Always said I'd be famous... I guess that I lied (la-la la-la, la-la la-la, la-la la-la, la-la)
'Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride (Ooh Ooh)
I'm still workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride
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