by Al Yankovic


You're sorta famous, a minor celebrity
And so it only makes sense the world would be
Obsessed with every single thing you do

They're runnin' 'round with their camcorders in the night
They're lurking patiently and hopin' that they just might
See somethin' real embarrassing you do

The bad hair day and sweat-stained T-shirt?
That's the story that they're gonna feature
With exclusive pics of your flabby behind
You think you're all alone, but that's right when you'll find

A bunch of paparazzi poppin' out of nowhere
Cameras in your face, and then suddenly
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ

Followin' you when you're walkin' down the street
And askin' stupid questions while you're tryin' to eat
So you cover your face, thinkin' to yourself
Hey, isn't this creepy?

And they're out there praying you'll have a big meltdown
And take 'em on a little car chase through this whole town
They'll be there with you when you're goin' to jail
First on the scene for every wardrobe fail

You just picked up some transvestite
Seconds later it's up on the web site
Get a Vegas wedding or quickie divorce
And they'll be sneakin' in, snappin' pictures, of course

And if they ever catch you pickin' your nose or
Stumblin' down the street on a drunken spree
You're on TMZ

Stalkin' you, just waitin' by your front door
Trailin' you through airport security
They're with TMZ
They're with TMZ

(We caught this Oscar nominee... picking up dog poo!)
(Is that... a baby bump?)
(I pronounce her guilty... of leaving the house while fat!)
(Look who's drinking... coffee!)
(Everything celebrities do... is fascinating!)

Oh, lemme tell you, it's getting to the point where a famous person can't
Even get a DUI or go on a racist rant
Those guys are all around, so you really shouldn't dare
Go to every club in town if you've lost your underwear

Seems that every single time a star decides to
Shave their head or ram their car into a tree
They're on TMZ

If they catch you peeing in the bushes
Later on that night, well, I guarantee
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ
Every single celebrity
Knows they're gonna be
There on TMZ

TMZ is the third (3rd) song on the "Alpocalypse" album. It is a parody of "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift with new lyrics by "Weird Al" Yankovic.

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